What happens at the Blitzkrieg's house
by some stuff
Summary: Ever wondered what happens inside the Blitzkrieg's house when no one is around? Just a glimpse on the normal life of our favourite phychotic russians. Rated T for swearing like a proud sailor.
1. Not a squirrel

Hello there people! Follow me and my brain into these random little stories that I think in my spare time! :D

Btw, I'm sorry for any grammatical mistake.

**I do not own Beyblade ):**

"**YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD YOU LITTLE BITCH!"**

Spencer was welcomed by Bryan's tasteful sense of picking out violent words. He closed the door annoyed and put the groceries he just bought in a table.

What in the world was Bryan angry at? He was alone, he had nobody to fight or torture and last time he checked the house there were no squirrels around.

The Whale climbed the stairs carefully, ready to be attacked by his psychotic brother… Like that one time when Bryan was hunting a spider so he accidently knocked Tala out with a baseball bat.

He found the Falcon inside Kai's room throwing several objects at random places.

"What are you doing?" The blond asked dodging a book. Man, Kai was going to kill them if he found his room looking like a battlefield.

"What does it look like?" Bryan asked irritated scrutinizing the room to find his prey and throwing a pillow to a lamp a few seconds later, crashing loudly into the floor.

Spencer stood in silence for a few moments frowning slightly. "You're hallucinating again, aren't you? How many times have I told you to take your medica-"

"I already told you I do take the damn pills Spence" He said after tackling a wardrobe down. "THERE IT IS!" He pointed accusingly to the air regaining his composure.

Spencer took a while to find what his brother was pointing at. He was hunting what seemed to be a tiny innocent _bee_.

"A_ bee…_" Spencer stated flatly. "You're kidding right?"

"That bastard stung me, so I'm going to murder it" The Falcon sniggered evilly with a mad glint in his eyes.

"-Sigh- I'm going to go find the first-aid kit" The giant surrendered to Bryan's psychotic breakdown.

He went to his room and took the first-aid kit from under his bed. They brought it only 3 weeks ago and it was already half empty… They had to find a way to become less violent. Especially Bryan and Kai.

He was about to leave his room when he heard Bryan laugh like a maniac inside Kai's room. When he entered to see if his brother was mentally stable, he saw Bryan sprawled on the floor torturing his poor prey with a pencil stuck through its middle.

"I got you, you little shit" He sniggered psychotically twisting the pencil slowly.

Spencer shivered involuntarily, he made a mental note to never be on Bryan's bad side.

Suddenly the entrance door was heard. Spencer froze.

"Kai…?" He asked carefully.

"Yes?" Kai's voice was heard.

"…_Shit_"

…

That's it! What do you think? If you have any suggestions, please tell me so I can keep this thing going on. Oh, and don't forget to REVIEW! :)


	2. Statistics

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter :') You seriously have no idea what it means to me.

Shortest mini-story I've ever written! Next chap will be a suggestion by **Kiscia**.

Enjoy!

**I do not own Beyblade ):**

"So… Have any of you already got laid?" Ian suddenly asked in the middle of their breakfast.

Spencer almost drowned with his coffee coughing loudly just as Tala with his toast, Kai stared at the Snake shocked and Bryan burst out laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"What the hell is going through your dirty mind right now?" Kai asked disgusted, but quickly reconsidered his words. "You know what? I don't even want to know"

"Jesus Ian, breakfast is not the best time to ask about those things" Spencer scolded pointing his fork at his younger brother.

"Hahahah… Oh my God…" Bryan managed to say still laughing slightly and wiping away a few tears. "That just made my day, hahah"

"Why are you even asking shrimp?" Tala asked amused. "It's not like you will ever get laid anyways" He laughed and gave Bryan a bro-fist.

"Ha, ha. You're always so smart, asshole. I'm impressed" Ian said sarcastically.

"Language Ian" Spencer glared at him.

"So, -ou havn'th anshwerd the queshtion yeh" Bryan pointed out with his mouth stuffed with pancakes causing Spencer to slap him in the head. "Oush, -ath hurth"

"Well, my science teacher says that 1 out of every 4 guys from the age of 15-21 has already had sex. I was just wondering which one of you had already got laid" He asked curiously.

3…2…1… Tala and Bryan started laughing and pointed at Ian as he was retarded while Kai sniggered slightly.

"Ian, I don't think statistics work that way" The blond told him patting him on the back.

…

Okay, maybe this needs some explaining: A statistic is an average of several facts for a subject, it doesn't literally means 1 guy out of 4 has already had sex, it's just a way of saying 25% of the male population has already got laid at the age 15 to 21... If you were wondering...

Anyways, please tell me what you think! :D


	3. History lessons

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS SO FAR! Please accept a cyberhug from me! And yes, my English sucks.

I was finally inspired to finish this chapter thanks to today's México's Independence Day! ¡Felices fiestas patrias compadres paisanos!

ENJOY!

**I do not own Beyblade ):**

"_Why_?" Kai asked himself miserably letting his head fall hard on the table. 2 hours had passed since he began trying to finish his history homework.

He. Hated. History. There wasn't any logical explanation for it, he just couldn't figure out dates and facts of the French Revolution no matter how hard he tried.

And he was _Russian_ for God's sake! He didn't have to know about these things. He could tolerate Japanese history, he could even _like _Russian history, but there was absolutely no way in **hell **he could understand French history.

"Just shoot me now" He mumbled to no one in particular glaring at his homework.

"Hey Bryan! Get your ass here, Kai wants to get killed!" An annoying voice was heard from the other side of the living room.

"_Sweet!_" The Falcon's rushed steps echoed from upstairs.

Kai turned his head and threw an icy glare at Ian who instantly hid behind a corner. In that exact moment Bryan entered excitedly the living room carrying a large baseball bat with him.

"Before I kill you buddy, I've got to say that I'm honored you choose me to end your short and pathetic existence and-" The Falcon was hit in the head by a flying mug, courtesy of Kai, and landed painfully on the floor completely knocked out.

"Ian! Come here you little runt!" The Phoenix said sternly not caring for his passed out brother's safety.

"I'm sorry Kai! Please don't kill me!" Ian poked his head from the corner terrified to death.

The blunet boy just narrowed his eyes threateningly and pointed the chair next to him for Ian to sit.

"B-But-"

"NOW!"

The Snake didn't wait any longer and carefully walked towards Kai making sure he didn't step on Bryan. Once he was a good meter away from the table, Kai motioned him to sit next to him. Without having any other choice, Ian gulped and sat on the chair.

"So, Ian. You like history don't you?" The older one asked in a casual voice, as if he wasn't on a murderous mood just three seconds ago.

"Not really…" Ian began but changed his mind when Kai glared darkly at him. "I mean _yes_! I love history! Hahaha…" He laughed nervously.

"Great! Now tell me, when was King Louis XVI of France executed?"

"Uhh… I- I don't remember-" Ian said slowly but jumped on his seat when his brother snaped the pen he was using to write the answers with his hands.

"Try harder, I'm sure you know" He asked with an apparently calm voice.

…

The next day, Spencer was received into the house by a chaotic sight. Kai was yelling like a psycho and was chasing poor Ian with a chair.

Spencer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose irritated.

"Why the _**fuck **_is Kai chasing Ian again?" The blond asked his two remaining brothers who were sitting in the couch watching the show.

"We have no idea!" Tala smirked without turning his gaze from his brothers.

"I hope the shrimp gets killed" Bryan mumbled angrily rubbing his forehead without noticing it. "I'm so going to get both of them"

"But we found this nailed on yours and Ian's door, so maybe it's a clue" The redhead gave his brother what seemed to be Kai's homework paper.

In the paper, there was a giant red circle around question 14 with the words '_YOU'RE DEAD'_ on capital letters.

"What's so special about question 14?" The Whale asked confused looking at Tala.

"Just read the answer" Their captain chuckled.

"'December 24th'…" Spencer read out loud skeptically.

"Wait, isn't that Christmas?" Bryan asked thoughtfully.

Tala laughed amusedly and Spencer face-palmed not believing his brothers' stupidity.

…

Phew! This one took a while! I hope you all liked it :) And for some historical notes, King Louis XVI was executed on 21 January 1793, so Ian's answer was just ridiculous. And we all know how Kai turns into a potential murder when he's annoyed.

Please don't forget to REVIEW! :D As always, any suggestions are welcomed!


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